You remember the sick bastard Anders Behring Breivik? Yes, the one that killed 69 people on the island of Utoya and further eight in Oslo on the same day.
Now arrested and on trial, Breivik hits the media again. This time by the choice of the shirts he wears. Yes, that's exactly what I said. And it's not fashion magazines that care about his shirts. And it's not that he turned to Lady Gaga style. On the court sessions, Anders Behring Breivik is wearing Lacoste shirts. And that turns out to be a huge problem for Lacoste.
As Telegraph reports, Lacoste is not quite happy that Breivik likes sporting their trademark:
Norwegian daily Dagbladet said [Lacoste] bosses had now written to Oslo police demanding 32-year-old Breivik be stopped from wearing their garments.
An Oslo police spokesman told the paper: "The company feels that such a man sporting their clothes could do considerable harm to their reputation."
I still hope this is some Onion-type hoax. But it's not.
For decades we've been brainwashed by corporations, their brands and trademarks into believing that their stuff will make us better, happier, more successful and what not just by using their products. It wasn't enough to say "Lacoste makes good shirts". No, it had to be all sorts of insane promises, lifestyle and identification with celebrities.
Because people actually believe that shit. They do believe that wearing Lacoste will earn them reputation and even educated look. Of course, it's not only Lacoste, Nike will make you a great basketball player, Apple will make you hip and tech savvy. Sure they will. At least in the eyes of the other mindless brand-whores.
Sooner or later, it had to backfire. Now the psycho-killer is wearing Lacoste and marketing geniuses who thought that "Lacoste is making good shirts" is not a good advertisement are counting the possible damage. And, being the marketing geniuses, they are making things worse by drawing the attention to the crocodile on Breivik's chest. Would you even notice what he's wearing if they haven't started the buzz. Hardly so.
photo by Justin Taylor
If there was any hope for this civilization, Lacoste's problem with Breivik's fashion taste would teach big brands a couple of things. But there will always be people stupid enough to try to buy a lifestyle so brands will respond accordingly.
One more thing is scary here. What if corporations, determined to protect their brands, employ a different system of selling their products. What if they decide that the brand sign is still their property after you bought the product and that they have the right to protect it from your misuse?
Then they will stop selling us clothes but sell us license agreements to wear their clothes instead. Yes, just like software companies do. You go to the store and sign a contract that grants you the right to wear the shirt unless you are killing someone, attending a trial for mass-murder… declaring yourself as a conservative/liberal/gay/hippie… driving a car cheaper than US$100.000… Special part of the contract could handle your treatment of the product i.e. it should be always clean and ironed and no other layer of clothes should at any time cover the logo. Also, you might be obliged to pay attention to the style and colors of the other pieces of clothes. And so on… After all, they have to think of the sanctity of their holy trademark and if you think that your dirty and messy hair can go with their product, then you are wrong. Yes, I know it sounds insane, but it wasn't me who started this train of thought.